She always ends up with her heart broken?
My best friend has never had a decent boyfriend. She is 18 and beautiful. One of her good friends met the guy she was talking to and pretty much stole him from her and is now calling her names and telling her to grow up and be more outgoing like her and she’ll get more guys to like her. This isn’t the first time that my friend has had her heart broken like this before.
What do I tell my friend? I hate seeing her so upset. Please help.
It seems that the your best friend’s "friend" (the one that stole the guy) isn’t really a true friend. Friends don’t do that to friends. Besides, if that guy is that fickle, that’s his loss and she’s better off without him.
People are wired differently, and if your best friend is not a social butterfly, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with her. It just means it may take time for her to find the right person. Besides what I said in the first paragraph, maybe you can tell her that she should look seriously into her past relationships to see if there are some similarities streaming throughout, and correct them from her end so her future relationships will have a better chance of success. Also, don’t settle for mediocre (especially if your friend is not mediocre as a person), and she should never ignore her gut feelings. Most of us have an inkling of what kind of person we’re dealing with early on, but our "rational" selves don’t listen, and then we get hurt by "surprises" later on.
One final thing…I’ve learned the hard way over time (I’m 28) that it’s best to keep relationships separate from friendships. Women can be devious and try to undercut their friends, and even well-intentioned friends can screw things up. From now on, maybe your best friend shouldn’t mix her suitors with her friends…occasionally it can be fine, but more often than not, it doesn’t end well.
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What a horrible friend! Not you, the one who stole the guy away! That is sad, but she should not have to change for anyone. Tell her to just be cautious and really get to know people before putting her heart on the line. She had to learn to play mind games a little bit in order to protect herself. I know it sounds totally juvenile but unfortunately this is how the game works. Tell her not to get her hopes up and to be just be patient.
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help her find a good man, this could be hard because men are always on their best behavior in the beginning until they think the girl is hooked
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It seems that the your best friend’s "friend" (the one that stole the guy) isn’t really a true friend. Friends don’t do that to friends. Besides, if that guy is that fickle, that’s his loss and she’s better off without him.
People are wired differently, and if your best friend is not a social butterfly, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with her. It just means it may take time for her to find the right person. Besides what I said in the first paragraph, maybe you can tell her that she should look seriously into her past relationships to see if there are some similarities streaming throughout, and correct them from her end so her future relationships will have a better chance of success. Also, don’t settle for mediocre (especially if your friend is not mediocre as a person), and she should never ignore her gut feelings. Most of us have an inkling of what kind of person we’re dealing with early on, but our "rational" selves don’t listen, and then we get hurt by "surprises" later on.
One final thing…I’ve learned the hard way over time (I’m 28) that it’s best to keep relationships separate from friendships. Women can be devious and try to undercut their friends, and even well-intentioned friends can screw things up. From now on, maybe your best friend shouldn’t mix her suitors with her friends…occasionally it can be fine, but more often than not, it doesn’t end well.
References :
Your friend has low self esteem at this point a boyfriend is not going to help her, she needs some self esteem. I don’t know her background but she can buy some books, go to some seminars, get therapy, if she believes in God try church, and then she will find out how much she is really worth, and some of her self esteem issues will gone immediately. It sounds as though she might be having problems with accepting herself wholely and figuring out her own worthiness. We can’t base what others say about us, because the same people who make us feel good about ourselves, can and will try and makes feel bad about ourselves. The only important person is yourself and God and what he thinks about you. Tell her she deserves a good life and that Jesus came to give life and to give it more abundantly, therefore she should want good things, and expect them. From men and women from people who celebrate who she is, not people who mere tolerate her. God probably has someone special for her, God always picks up the out cast of the world if we allow him to. Also tell her her so called friend is a no good ******* that’s has not learned morals and values and to keep her away from any man she has in the future there is no such thing as stealing he also is the same way because if he was hers he wouldn’t dare left.
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